Date a Smart Girl

On Tumblr, there seems to be a rebelling against the idea of date a smart girl. Instead, they say, date someone who makes you happy. And then there is something angry about John Green (a different topic - I'm on team John Green, for the record). Or classism.

This bothers me. First, I always liked the idea of date a smart girl. Why? Well, I am smart. I always have been. I feel like an ass saying it, but I got a TON of grief for being smarter than my peers when I was younger. Bookworm, teacher's pet. I got very frustrated with students who didn't even care about being smart. This carried on to college, when I wanted the people who were just wasting time and space to leave. In the case of college, though, I will start my very high payments on that, so it is a bit more of a concern to get my money's worth (just do the reading, people!).

One of my other issues is that girls are so often told to dumb down for boys. Boys a threatened by girls who are smarter than them. They are intimidated by smart girls. No one wants to date a smart girl. That is what I saw when I saw the girls who were in school only to socialize get the boys. And I turned back to my studies, my activities, and focused on what really mattered to me.

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So the date a smart girl thing countered that for me., even if I wasn't really aware of it.

But the classism - I can understand that. Not everyone has access to education like college. But there are so many other resources. Libraries (even this, I know, can be difficult in areas where funding is cut and places are hard to get to) offer vast stores of knowledge, and in many places, the internet. School libraries, too (see above for acknowledgement). I also know there is a digital divide that still exists, but it is becoming smaller.

My biggest issue, I guess, is the toss away of learning in a institution. There is a cry against grades and school. I agree and also feel hurt by these. Grades don't show how smart that you really are. Well, yes and no. It also stings because I was in the top 20% of my 608 person senior class in high school. I graduated with honors. Please don't tell me all my hard work wasn't worth it. It was. I learned. I had intelligent conversations with researchers and activists at the top of their field, and students and graduate students who were interested and passionate.

Date a smart girl means to me: throw off the expectations of the bimbo. Don't dumb yourself down to date someone. You don't deserve that. Don't be someone you're not in either case. But still, it means to date someone who makes you happy.

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But ultimately, I like John Waters' view on the whole thing, being a bibliophile: If you go home with someone and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em. (or date them, I add)

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